It's not all rainbows and sunshine here in Hawaii! Anger, frustration, and sadness still find me here. Sometimes I even invite them in!
Part of what makes me a good coach is helping clients through the pain and darkness of shadow work. I can do that because I mindfully dance with my own shadow.
I have been working with a trauma coach to make the most of the (sometimes) painful energies of retrograde, to dig up and process my own pain from a childhood fraught with neglect and abuse. Today I woke up enraged. No amount of gratitude or meditation cooled the flames of rage so I sat down to journal and this is what came out -
RAGE! RAGE! RAGE!!!
Is the theme of my day today
Six planets in retrograde
Dig into the trauma work
Dance with my shadow self
So much PAIN!
A lifetime of use and abuse
A mother who could not love…me…or herself
Men of all ages who wanted to love too much…to devour
Everything I was or ever would be
A world where how much I can make is what makes me worthy
A world where my body is not my own
But governed by the laws of men
Get your hands off my body
Get your words out of my mind
GIVE ME BACK MY LIFE!!!
I am a fighter, and I will not give in or give up so I
RAGE! RAGE! RAGE!!! and save forgiveness for another day
Some days you just have to let the shadow rage or cry or scream in pain. Embrace it. Talk/yell it, walk/run it, write/paint it out of your system so you can come back into the light and love and keep moving forward with life.
Much love and aloha,