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Tips and Tools for Taming the Negative Self-talk

Updated: Feb 24, 2022

Creating awareness

1. Become aware of your inner critic or negative self-talk dialog. Listen for it and write it down.

2. Develop positive responses or mantras to address the phrases you say most often.

3. Give that voice a name. Think of it as a best friend in need or a hurt/scared child. Separating that voice from your regular dialog will create space for objectivity and approaching it with Curiosity and Compassion. (two C’s)

When you are in a space where you can work through the origin of the negative dialog

1. Thank the voice (as a caring friend or parent) for letting you know they are scared/concerned.

2. Ask what is making them feel/think this way or who is telling them that– approach with Curiosity and Compassion, never judgment.

3. If any feelings come up, let them. Feel them and release them. Journaling can help. Visually releasing these feelings can help. Feel it and let it go. Speak gratitude for the healing opportunity!

4. Tell the voice you understand its concern but:

a. You have a solution (state it)

b. Can keep it safe by doing _____ (list how you will make it a safe situation)

c. Say it will still be ok if things don’t work out exactly as planned because _____ (list your strengths or support system)

d. Speak as if you are lovingly giving advice to a best friend in need or a hurt/scared child – Practice the 2 C’s with yourself whenever possible!

When you can’t work through the origin of the negativity

1. Thank the voice for its concern and let it know you will revisit the issue later.

2. Use your positive response or mantras to redirect the negative dialog back to a positive dialog so you don’t internalize the message and get bogged down in the anxiety or self-judgment spin.

3. When you do have time later that day or the next day address why it came up, what the trigger was, and work through the steps above.

I offer a 90-day coaching package called Turning that Negative Nancy Voice into Your Biggest Fan, it is based on this process. If you are interested in this package and all the tools, support, and coaching that come along with it visit my website and sign up for a discovery call.

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